#TruthfulTuesday - Keep swimming or get back on the boat

“Take some time off, but don’t take too long.”

“Are you sure that was God speaking to you?”

“You’re too young to have gone through anything to write about.”

These are just some of the things that people tell me when I share with them my decision to take a year off from Corporate America to focus on writing.  I thought about my decision for months. I weighed the pros and cons, but most importantly I prayed about it. 

I can hear my friend Kendra saying, “Write about this time Christy! Tell people what’s going on.  Your experience can help others who are going through similar situations.” Okay, so maybe those weren’t her exact words because by this time we were on our second glass of Prosecco, but the point is I heard you Kendra, so here it goes.

How does it feel? 

Honestly? 

For real?

 

It feels like I’m swimming in the ocean. On one side of me is a boat filled with nice shiny things and people holding up paddles as if they are bidding on items at an auction. I keep swimming and more paddles fly in the air. I look closer and the paddles have words and numbers written on them:  401K, Bonus, Six Figure Salary.  I turn away. I keep swimming even though there's nothing but water in front of me and no sign of dry land.  

The boat represents all the opportunities that I could take advantage of by sucking it up and taking a nice corporate gig in a major city.  Companies are willing to pay me a great deal of money as an IT Project or Program Manager, but every time I read a job description or a friend or former co-worker tells me about an opportunity my body literally rejects the information.  I get chill bumps on my arms, my head starts to hurt, and I get a funny feeling in my stomach.   Even with all the discomfort, I still think about going back to the corporate life at least a few times a month.  

I have been working since college. I literally walked across the stage to get my diploma, took a couple of weeks off to get my wisdom teeth pulled and then I started work (with a swollen mouth).  In college, it never occurred to me that I could travel the world, experience other cultures, or do anything prior to starting my career. I spent four years preparing to work and I’ve been working ever since.

Why does it feel like I’m swimming? 

First off, (and since I'm being honest), I don’t know how to swim, but swimming is one of those things that just about everybody can relate to. Like saying, “It’s like riding a bike.” You can totally understand my point even if you have never ridden a bike in your life, but I digress.

It feels as though I’m swimming with water rushing towards me. Every time I get a little further along I look up and see that I am still nowhere near dry land. I can jump back in the boat and take the dry and "easy" route or I can keep swimming, keep moving, trusting in God’s strength to push me further and further when my head bobs below the water, when I see sharks (doubters, distractions, haters) lurking, when I just want to sleep and drink wine all day God reminds me that I have an option:  I can keep swimming or get back on the boat. 

My decision… I keep swimming.

I keep swimming because I know that when I reach the shore I’ll be physically stronger than I was when I started.

I keep swimming because with every day that goes by I am getting mentally and spiritually stronger than I was when I got going.

I keep swimming because I have faith that when times get hard and all I want to do is float in the middle of the ocean, God will do the rest of the work and keep my head above water.

I keep moving because going back to where God has already delivered me from is counterproductive.

I keep moving because the negative comments from others only make me work that much harder to prove them wrong.

I keep moving because my prize, my true passion is up ahead and if I stop now then it’s like telling God, “It's okay. I don't want to serve you. You can take back this gift.”

I keep moving because although I can’t see where God is taking me I know that it is better than where I’ve been.

I keep moving because I’m too young to be old and too old to be young and excuses are for the faithless.

I keep swimming so that I can see the greatness that God sees in me.

I have no choice but to keep moving.  You can’t put a dollar amount on happiness.  When you do what you love you will never work a day in your life.

I may take a few breaks. I might even be tempted to jump back on the boat, but no matter how long it takes to get to my Promised Land I’m not gonna give up.

I’m gonna keep swimming.