Who is C.A.C.H.?

“Sometimes you have to go back to where you came from to get to where you’re going.” – C.A.C.H.

It was August 2016. I was fresh off of a four-day trip to DC. I felt rested, renewed, and at peace… well mostly at peace.  I had the next five days off of work not including the weekend.  Words cannot describe exactly how I felt. I was looking forward to sleeping, sleeping, and sleeping.   It’s like I turned thirty and all I wanted to do was sleep. 

Those days after my DC trip were probably the most important days of last year.  As a Program Manager in Corporate America, my days were long and exhausting.  I neglected my friends, my family, and most of all myself.  I did manage to make it to happy hour which was the highlight of my week.  Even with the anticipation of sushi and Prosecco I still felt as if I was simply existing without a goal beyond the day in front of me.  Something had to give.

I always try to have a plan for my life, but 2016 was flying by.   After getting my entire life in DC with my friend Torri and meeting some pretty dope people, I decided to use the remaining days of my mini vacation to fast, pray, and of course sleep. 

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday went by and I managed to make it from the bed to the couch and back to the bed again. By Thursday, I silenced my phone, removed everything from my guestroom closet and I sat there, willing God to speak to me.   

After seeing the War Room late in 2015, I was inspired to create my own personal sanctuary.   It was a place of reflection, prayer, and fasting but the more responsibility I was given at work, the less time I spent in the War Room. 

On that day in August, I sat in my guest room closet with an open heart. 

Alone.

Quiet. 

Eyes closed. 

I tried not to focus on the hunger pangs or my knees hurting. I did all of my normal I’m-about-to-pray type of stuff.  At first there was nothing and then I pulled out my journal and started to write.

Writing is how God speaks to me.

Writing is how I pray.

Writing is how I take all of the chaos and confusion in my head and make sense out of it.

It was as if God was on the tips of my fingers. I could feel Him in my wrists, and in the palm of my hands.  I made sure to put His words in quotes as to not confuse them with my own. 

March 1, 2017 would be the day that I quit my job.

“If not before…” God said.

By December of 2016, things started to shift at work.  My project was canceled, consultants were released and rumors started to circulate that more changes were coming in the new year.

I had a feeling that 2017 would bring about a lot of changes for me. In order to prepare myself mentally I took a break from all social media and didn’t talk to anyone besides my mom for the first week of the year.  During that week The Amazing Adventures of C.A.C.H. was born.   Over the past fourteen years I have been working and making money but not really traveling or doing fun stuff to unwind from work. 

2017 was going to be different.

I was going to have adventures.

I was going to meet interesting people.

I was going to blog about everything!

March 1^st was quickly approaching and I had no idea what I would do next.  God has a way of speaking to us but not necessarily giving us the entire story.

I couldn’t have predicted what would happened next. My goal was to stay with my company long enough to meet my five-year anniversary (February 2^nd) and then stay long enough to get a bonus (if the company would get bonuses).   

I had it all figured out for the most part. I would quit and move back in with my parents.  I hadn’t really gotten further than that.

On January 13^th (Friday the 13^th to be exact) I found out that my job would be going away.   This wasn’t necessarily the whole story. My entire department would be going away.   Project Managers are usually not seen as valuable until they are no longer in place. January 20^th was my last day with the company.  For the first time since graduating from college in 2003, I was without a job.

Was I shocked?  Yes.

Was I scared, nervous about the future, a little worried? Yes, yes, and yes.

This feeling lasted for a few hours and then I went to happy hour.  I realized that this wasn’t the plan that I had prayed about in my closet that day in August but this is how God was going to play this thing out.

The time between when I found out about the restructure and the time that I separated from the company is what I call The Longest Week.  I wrote a little something about this time period during late January. (Check out the posts from January to read more.)

So, I was out of a job a few weeks sooner than expected and with a severance package.

What did I do? 

Well, at first I did a whole bunch of nothing.  I slept. I had wine and lemon pepper wings. I went to the movies in the middle of the day.  I caught up with friends. I slept. I wrote. I prayed.

And then after a few weeks I settled into my new routine of putting together a plan.

I would stay in Dallas until my lease expired at the end of March and then I would move back home to Louisiana.

What would I do for money?

What would my life be like?

A million and one questions ran through my head.

There were some days that I got so depressed and worried about the future.  There were other days that everything made perfect sense.

I completely embraced the down time.

I slept more.

I went to the gym more.

I drank more water.

I took advantage of my massage and facial credits. 

I focused on me. 

I had neglected me. 

Every day was different and I was okay with that.  I spent my days writing, reading, working out and reflecting on life. I took walks and enjoyed the amenities in my community.  

I sold most of the things in my apartment. What I couldn’t sell I gave away.  I loaded up my car with a few suitcases and headed home to surprise my mom.

Oh yeah, I didn’t tell my parents that I was moving back home until I showed up.  LOL!

I started this year wanting to have amazing adventures and I plan to do just that.  My parent’s home will be where I receive my mail and where I’ll leave my clothes but the road will be my home. 

People keep asking me if I’m sure about my decision. 

Are you afraid?

Are you sure that you’re okay?

If I don’t do it now, then when will I do it?  Life is short. I want to live while I am alive.

It is scary, but every day I get confirmation that I am doing the right thing. That is really all that matters. 

I’m excited to see where I’ll end up and who I will meet.  My hope is that I encounter my true self and purpose along the way.  In my travels I want to encourage, uplift and inspire and be inspired. I want to leave a legacy so that when my time is up I will have no regrets about how I spent my dash. 

I hope to find love…the type of love that can’t be described even if I used all of the words in all of the books…a love that can be felt across the miles, from my shoulders to my toes…a love that will remove all fear from my heart…a love that will rest in all of my nooks and crannies forever. Yep, that type of love.   

Stay tuned. It’s gonna be an Amazing Adventure. -   C.A.C.H.

P.S.  C.A.C.H. is my initials… My name is super long.

IG: C.A.C.H._ 

Twitter: CACH_2017